Inventing Shadows
by Mackieluv23
Summary: David Haden and Olivia Benson attempt to continue their relationship after season 13 episode "Justice Denied". They run into a few challenges.
1. Chapter 1

Inventing Shadows

Chapter 1: It's Not Surprising It Could End Like This

Olivia sat next to David in a bar steps away from the precinct. It had been a particularly tough week for her. She made a near fatal mistake with a case eight years ago and now a man had been wrongfully imprisoned. Even though it was not her fault directly, IAB had decided to look back on all of her cases and any case SVU had ever taken on during her nearly fifteen years. She hoped that would be the worst of it but, less than an hour ago Cragen had informed her that her secret boyfriend David Haden would be the head of investigation.

David called her after her shift and asked to meet her. She knew there was not a whole lot of good that could come from agreeing but, against her better judgment, she went to the bar.

"So I am guessing you heard about my new job?" He said after a hello kiss and a long pause.

"Yeah. Congratulations, you deserve it."

"It is a really great opportunity but, I don't know it's worth it. I could resign."

"I could never ask you to do that. I mean, when we started this we said we would take it slow and that is hardly taking it slow."

"You know what that means, don't you?"

"This…Us…. Never happened." Olivia wiped tears from her eyes and downed the rest of her glass of cabernet. David stood up and grabbed his coat. He began walking toward the door.

Olivia motioned to the bartender to get her another drink. She held her head in her hands and sighed. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around cautiously and before she could speak David had his lips pressed to hers. He kissed her as if it was the last kiss he would ever have.

"What was that for?" She said once he finally finished.

"I can't let this be over. We need to out ourselves to the DA and your captain. Then we accept the consequences." He said sitting down again.

"No. You will lose your job and what if this doesn't work out. I mean let's be realistic here, this is the longest relationship I have had since I started this job, besides Elliot and who's to say it's going to last. It only takes one case that I get too attached to for this to go south."

"I am in this. One hundred percent I am here."

"Yeah. You say that now."

"Liv, if you want to keep making up reasons not to try, I can leave and we can be done."

"I hardly think my worries are simple petty 'reasons not to try'. I think we should keep doing what we have been doing. We can keep this a secret I mean how hard can it be?"

"Well, you know Bayard is on to us."

"I will talk to him. He is just jealous of us."

"I wouldn't use that as my main point If I were you." David chuckled and kissed her.

"Alright, so we are doing this?"

"We are doing this."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 : Love Will Not Break Your Heart But, Dismiss Your Fears

Olivia rolled over in her bed the next morning. She smiled at David's sleeping face. She giggled as he stirred.

"What are you laughing at?" David said as he rubbed his still closed eyes.

"You smile like a dumbass when you sleep." She laughed as she sat up in the bed.

"Oh really?" He said pulling her back down. Olivia screamed as she fell into his arms. He grabbed at her sides.

"Ahhh. Stop it! You know I am ticklish there." She squirmed and laughed silently.

"Well let's hope a secret of national security is never on your shoulders. I can read the headlines now: Detective gives up US secrets due to massive tickle spot." He joked. Just then Olivia's cell phone rang.

"Benson. Yeah, no I am not busy. Sure I can be there in an hour or so. Undercover work? Yeah sure." As Olivia talked to Cragen, David began to tickle her again. She giggled quietly and tried to push him away. "Stop it. No I was talking to my … um… bunny yeah my bunny… Peter. Anyway, I will see you in an hour. Okay bye." She put her phone down and shot David one of her usual angry looks. He threw her back the puppy dog eyes.

"I am shame faced." David said smiling.

"You should be." She laughed. "But, seriously we need to be careful."

"I know, Liv. You need to quit worrying so much."

"Well, one of us has to worry. I mean, this whole thing is my fault. "

"What is that supposed to mean?" David finally sat up. Olivia turned toward him, careful not to meet his gaze.

"I like you a lot more than I originally planned. Plus, if I hadn't royally screwed up the Pena case we would be fine." David slid closer to Olivia and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"This has nothing to do with Pena. We knew this was going to be difficult from the beginning."

"I know. I have to go get dressed. Cragen is calling me in on a case." She stood up and walked into the bathroom.

"I thought you had the weekend off?"

"Well, apparently, I am the only detective he trusts to go undercover for this case." She shouted.

"You sound skeptical."

"To be honest, I am pretty sure I am only getting this job because I am old and motherly." She walked into the bedroom dressed in a black pencil skirt, heels and a maroon button down shirt.

"Wow! I hardly think you are old. What is the case?" David looked up from his cell phone.

"I have to go the precinct to find out. I will call you when I can." She gave him a kiss and headed for the door.

"Wait." David jumped out of the bed and ran after her.

"What?"

"You are going undercover, right?" He asked.

"Yes and…" she asked in attempt to hurry him along.

"Well, be careful." He hugged her.

"I will. I promise." Olivia walked out the door. She paused in the stairwell and sighed. She never thought she would have anyone to worry about her once Elliot left.

Chapter 3: When Your Happy Like A Fool, Let It Take You Over

Cragen met Olivia at the elevator. Due to traffic and of course chatting with David, She didn't arrive until over an hour later than she had previously estimated.

"Sorry. Traffic was a bitch."

"Here's the deal. I need you to go under as a teacher at East Brooklyn Academy."

"Wait, the school for pregnant teens and teen mothers?"

"That's the one. The principal has been accused of rape and sexual assault."

"That sounds pretty straight forward. What do you need me for?"

"We have no complaining witnesses. We have no evidence and so we need to either find a complainant or catch him in the act."

"I still don't see what my job is here."

"Liv, the victims take to you. I need you to gain their trust and make them want to tell you."

"Okay, that seems easy enough."

"Huang will brief you now."

"Great."

"Liv?"

"What's up?"

"You're allowed to have a personal life."

"I know." She smiled and walked toward the squad room.


	3. Chapter 3

AUTHOR'S NOTE: HEY GUYS I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE ENJOYING THIS STORY. I LOVE READING YOUR REVIEWS SO PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING. THEY REALLY HELP ME DECIDE WHERE TO TAKE THE STORY NEXT. THANKS AND ENJOY.

Chapter 4: Sometimes I Am Frightened But I'm Ready to Learn

Olivia walked into the squad room and saw Huang sitting on the edge of her desk. She took a deep breath and walked toward him.

"Hey, Liv. Are you ready to get started?" He popped up.

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, Captain Cragen said we could use his office." George said as he led Olivia to the office. He shut the door behind them. "So you are going undercover at East Brooklyn as their new criminal justice teacher."

"Okay, sounds easy enough. What's the catch?" She asked.

"Well, these are some troubled kids. There are a lot of rules at the school that you must follow in order for the students to feel the need to follow them."

"Okay, like what?"

"Well, first of all, you will have to surrender all of your weapons to Cragen before you leave. You will pass through three security check points on the way into the school including metal detectors. Also, there is a strict dress code enforced."

"Right, what does that entail?"

"Well, your current outfit will do just fine if you add some nylons." He handed her a list of rules.

"No jeans? What? Why?" Olivia frowned.

"They want to teach the students to dress professionally. So just dress as you would if you were going to be in court for the day." George said

"Okay, so it's eight thirty. Don't most high schools start at like seven?" Olivia stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt.

"Yes, however, because these girls need to drop their children at school or daycare, East Brooklyn starts at nine thirty." George stated. "But, we should get moving we have a lot more ground to cover."

"Uh, yeah… can you give me a second?" Olivia hesitated.

"Olivia, we really need to get you in there today."

"Okay, just give me three minutes tops. I promise." Olivia smiled and left the office. She walked into an empty interview room.

She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and looked around carefully before dialing David's office number.

"This is the office of executive assistant district attorney, David Haden, how many I be of service to you?"

"Hi, this is Detective Olivia Benson of Manhattan Special Victims; ADA Haden is expecting my call." Olivia lied to his assistant.

"Perfect, let me patch you through."

"Hello, this is David Hade."

"Good Morning, Councilor."

"Hey, Babe. I thought you would be gone by now."

"Yeah, I am supposed to be leaving right now but, I need some words of encouragement. I am actually really nervous about this case."

"Why? You are fabulous at this kind of stuff. I mean, I don't exactly know what you are doing but, you are great at everything."

"I am going undercover at East Brooklyn."

"East Brooklyn. The East Brooklyn filled with hoodrats and drug mules?" Olivia laughed as David attempted to come up with the words to describe the students.

"That's the one. Wait a minute, did you just say hoodrats?"

"Yes. Fin is not the only one who knows ghetto terms. Liv, I mean, you have the training to handle these kids. Plus, you have a gun."

"No, I don't. No weapons allowed. Hold on, you think I am going to need a gun?"

"These kids are hardcore, Liv-"

"I have to go."

"Wait, I just…"

"Bye." Olivia hung up the phone and took a deep breath before going to hunt for a pair of panty hose in her locker.

Chapter 5: Nobody Said It Was Easy

Olivia walked into the doors of the high school a little after nine. She didn't have any weapons on her and yet, she was nervous as she walked through security. She soon noticed that she was a member of the racial minority. She gazed at her pale arm and felt like she needed a pair of sunglasses.

"Girl, is you lost?" One student approached her.

"What? I mean, no. Actually, yeah I am. I need to find the main office." Olivia admitted.

"I will show you. I am Anya." She said.

"Oh, Great thanks. I am Ms. Martin." Olivia used her usual alias for this case as to ensure she didn't get confused. She followed Anya down that hallway. She was taking in her surroundings carefully as she was trained to in the academy.

"So, Ms. Martin. You are teaching the new criminal justice class, right?"

"I am. Why are you in it?"

"I sure am. I am going to be a lawyer."

"That's great. I was a lawyer for about ten years and then decided teaching was more my pace."

"Cool. So you're not married. Do you have any kids?"

"No. I don't." Olivia's voice shook as she answered.

"Do you not want kids?"

"No, I would love kids. My job just makes it really hard."

"Oh well, I have twins and I am working on my third. So I hope I can figure out how to balance it when I am your age. If you don't mind me asking how old is that? I would guess …what…36?"

"Well, I am flattered but, I will tell you I am 48."

"No way. I mean… you look so young."

"Well, thank you but, I am hardly young."

"Well, here we are. I will see you seventh period." Olivia nodded and smiled.

She walked into the main office and saw four security guards sipping coffee. She rolled her eyes at their obvious lack of commitment to the job. As she thought about the new officer coming up in the force she was startled by the receptionist.

"Can I help you?" Olivia jumped a few inch back.

"Uh… Yeah. I am Rachel Martin." The woman stared at her as if she was inconveniencing her. "The new teacher."

"Right, you can wait over there for Principal Rodriguez." Olivia nodded and sat down. She quickly pulled out her cell phone and texted Cragen an update. This place is terrible. Thanks for this. She then started to type out a text to David. Hate it here already. I can't wait to see you again. Luv ya. Just as she pressed send a shadow appeared in the doorway before her.

"no utilizar los teléfonos celulares durante las horas de clase aquí" the voice said.

"lo siento, no tenía idea." Olivia answered subconsciously without looking up.

"Ah, one of the few teachers who didn't lie about their language skills on their resume'. I am glad to see there are still honest people in the world." He said.

"I pride myself on that. You must be Principal Rodriguez." Olivia shook his hand.

"Please call me, Ernesto."

She was always able to judge a guilty perp after three minutes in the box but, she could tell this guy was going to be a challenge. She followed him into his huge office. The difference in décor from the rest of the school was astounding.

"So Ms. Martin, I hope you prepared to deal with these girls. This is not like most teaching jobs. You are a teacher, a counselor and an authoritarian to the students. Can you handle this?" He got straight to business. Olivia laughed. He had no idea the crazy stuff she had seen in her 15 years as a member of the special victims unit. He thought she was a lawyer turned teacher from New Hampshire.

"With all due respect sir, I know I can handle it."

"Great. You have four classes, a study hall and daycare duty. Your room is across the hall so that I can keep an eye on you. Do you have questions?" Ernesto breezed through all of the codes and rules. Olivia was glad she had a near photographic memory or she would have been trouble.

"Nope. I think I am all caught up. Classes start in five minutes so I am going to get going."

"Would you like me to escort you?"

"No, thanks, I am sure I can manage."

Olivia already had a bad feeling about this guy. She just hoped all of the students were as welcoming as Anya. Just as she was thinking about how nice Anya was she noticed her purse felt light. Olivia walked into her classroom. She opened her purse and dug around for her wallet. But, of course, it seemed Anya wasn't as nice as Liv had hoped.

"This is going to be a long case." Olivia said aloud as she grabbed her forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 6: Everything is Gonna Be Alright

As Olivia began her first class, she realized how very nervous she was. The students filed in just after the bell rang. Olivia knew this was going to be interesting.

"Alright, everybody sit down. You are all already late." The class continued to chat and ignore Olivia. All her years as a detective didn't nearly prepare her for this. As she scanned her brain, trying to figure out how to shut these kids up, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." She shouted over the students. David walked in. "What are you doing here?" Olivia gave him a kiss. She needed to make sure her cover wasn't blown. The classroom went silent. Then erupted into ooh's and ahh's.

"Who is this fine piece of ass?" One of the students asked.

"Is he your husband?" another student asked.

"No, dumbass she ain't got a ring. I checked when her hot ass walked in." An older looking girl piped in.

"Okay, Easy guys. If you would cool down, I would let you know." Olivia said. She realized most of the details of her personal life would either get her made or would be plain inappropriate. But, she decided if it would get their attention she would roll with it. "Okay , First I am . You can call me Rachel. I want you to feel as though you all should be treated as adults. That is so long as you act like adults."

"What's that mean?" The first student spoke again.

"Well…" Olivia began hoping to get some names.

"Kari."

"Well Kari, that means following the schools rules as well as the rules that I set for you. Starting with being on time for class. No excuses." Olivia looked at David for approval. He smiled. She then proceeded to pass out a syllabus. She explained all her rules and everything on the syllabus fairly quickly.

"Now, I want to get to know a little about each of you. But, first let me tell you about me."

"Like who the hottie is? " Kari piped in.

"Yes, like who the hottie is. This is Executive Assistant District Attorney David Haden and he is my boyfriend." Suddenly a girl stood up in the back of the room. She had been silent the whole morning thus far.

"Hi, I am a huge fan of both of your work." Olivia cleared her throat. She knew nothing good could come of the next part of her statement.

"Oh really? Well thank you. Would you like to step out in the hall and discuss some of my cases with me?" David swooped in for the save. The girl nodded feverishly and followed him into the hall.

"Any questions for me before I open the floor up to you guys? " Every student raised her hand quickly. "Wow, okay then, state your name and then your question and I will do my best to answer."

"Hi, I am LaQuanda. I was wondering if you have any kids?" Olivia was happy to get that question over with first off the bat.

"No, I don't my previous job made it nearly impossible. I have always wanted children though. Good question. Next."

"Carmen. What did you do before this?"

"I was a lawyer for the prosecution. I worked specifically on rape and murder cases."

"Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest between you and ADA Haden? Or is that why you left law? So you could be with David?" Kari asked.

"Um, well yes, that is exactly what happened. But, don't worry I am more than qualified to teach this class." Olivia decided that story made a lot sense. So she went with it.

She ran all her classes in the same fashion the rest of the day. She got some interesting questions and met some interesting students. She had over one hundred students. That to her was over hundred potential vics. She had to move fast, if she was going to make this work. So she decided to go with a Freedom Writers type of vibe. Olivia knew the students would be more likely to tell their story in a journal then to her. Overall, she figured this job would be almost as difficult as her day to day job with the SVU but, she was ready for it.

As she left for the day, she got a text from Cragen. _What is this I hear about ADA Haden spending the day with you today?_ Olivia didn't actually think Cragen would hear about it. _He dropped in. I panicked and went for the boyfriend defense. It's been awhile. _ She figured that way he could spend time with her without getting too much suspicion. _Come down to the precinct ASAP_. _Huang has to change your story now. _ Olivia was hoping to get home early that day but, it's the job.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: I Know You're Scared It's Wrong Like You Might Make A Mistake

Olivia waltzed into the precinct about half an hour later. Cragen was obviously not pleased with her. His face and red neck made that very clear.

"Okay, I can explain." She said as she threw her things on her desk and walked into his office.

"Really? How can you explain compromising what is possibly the most important case of your career? And what for? Why would ADA Haden have anything to do with you?" Cragen blew up. Olivia sat down and scanned her brain before she spoke.

"Okay, maybe I can't explain. I have no idea what Haden wanted with me. Last I heard from him was last week during the Pena fiasco."

"This is supposed to be your chance for redemption after that case. We need solid evidence in order to prosecute. So how is it coming with the girls?" Cragen's neck had returned to its normal shade of beige and things appeared to settle.

"Well, honestly I am having ADA Haden there actually saved my ass. We neglected to think about the potential of me running into girls who know me. A school for pregnant teens we are bound to run into someone who was a victim."

"Okay and how did he help?"

"He just did. I don't know." Olivia trailed off into a day dream like state.

"Olivia, is there something I need to know about?" Cragen asked snapping her quickly back to reality.

"What? I mean… What do you mean?" Olivia choked on her words.

"I know Elliot leaving was really hard for you. It was difficult for us all but, that doesn't mean you can neglect the rules set by the NYPD or the rules set by me. Do you understand?"

"I am not sure I understand what you're getting at, Captain."

"Liv, you haven't been yourself since Elliot left."

"I haven't felt this good since Elliot left, Captain."

"That's not what I meant. I can't remember the last time you smiled this much but, whoever he is don't let it affect your work." Olivia swallowed the knot in her throat before attempting to speak again.

"I won't. Trust me." She said as she stood and left the office. As she gathered her things she paused next to Elliot's desk. She smiled as she thought about the times when she looked across the desk and he was sitting there. She quickly realized what a good thing she had going with David. She shut off her desk light and walked to her car. It had been a long day and she couldn't wait to be in her pajamas and lying in David's arms. She chuckled at how cliché she sounded but, she finally understood why people in relationships act the way they do. And honestly, she was completely okay with it.

Chapter 6: Know You're Not Alone, I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

Olivia had been undercover for three weeks now. This was the longest she had ever been working undercover but, she knew it was important. Her career was still a topic of ridicule in every precinct in a 50 mile radius. She worked hard to engage her students and gain their trust. Gaining the trust of the girls was much easier said than done. Liv made some head way with Kari, LaQuanda and Carmen. All the girls loved writing in their journals. The issue was they were the only three who let her read their writing. She knew giving them the option to just show her they wrote or let her read it would gain their respect but, she didn't think about how tough it would be to get them to let her see. Olivia tried to focus on Anya. She knew she was hiding something. Usually, she had no trouble getting people to talk to her; it was a point of pride for her. Anya was a pretty solid lockbox. So the end of her third week, Olivia asked Anya to stay after class. Anya approached her carefully.

"Look, I am really sorry about your wallet. I just… I needed the money and you looked like you had a lot of money. Please don't call the police. I will pay you back." Anya poured her guts out and handed Olivia her wallet back. Olivia opened it up and looked inside. All her credit cards and identification were accounted for. Anya had taken $40 in cash from her. Olivia gasped when she noticed she had her SVU business card in the wallet.

"Did you look through this?" Olivia asked trying to gage how much trouble she was in.

"No. I just needed the money for diapers." Olivia let out an audible sigh of relief. "What do you have in there that is such a big secret? Are you living some sort of double life?" Anya joked.

"Ha, I wish." Olivia laughed. She was lucky her acting skills had improved with her undercover practice. "So, how are we going settle this?"

"I will do anything, just please don't call the police. I can't lose my kids." Anya begged.

"Well, I have an idea but, you may not like it." Olivia knew she had to do something drastic to quicken the investigation.

"What? I will do it. No matter what it is." Anya continued to plead.

"Detention with me during lunch every day for the rest of the semester. I won't tell anyone so it won't go on your record but, it will help me tons. You can help me clean up, grade papers and do daycare duty so you can see your girls during the day. How does that sound to you?" Olivia presented the idea.

"Ms. Martin, why are you being so nice to me? I robbed you. Now you're helping me, why?" Anya sat down on the corner of Liv's desk.

"Anya, If I had somebody to help me when I was your age, my life may have turned out differently." Olivia said quietly.

"Thank you. I will see you tomorrow." Anya gave Olivia a quick hug and ran out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND IF YOUA LL HATE ME NOW. I HAVE WAITED WAY TOO LONG TO UPDATE AND I AM SOOOOOO SORRY. I JUST WASN'T SURE WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS BUT, KNOW I THINK I KNOW SO HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LIKE IT. AS ALWAYS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITSITIM AND LOVE ARE INDEED WELCOME. PS I HAVE ABSOULTEL Y NO KNOWLEDGE OF NYC GEOGRAPHY AND GOOGLE ONLY KNOWS SO MUCH AND THUS MY TIMING/DISTANCES ARE GONNA BE OFF AND I AM SORRY FOR THAT. I WISH I COULD DO BETTER. ANY WAY LEAVE COMMENTS AND ENJOY.

Chapter 7: Would You Lie Next To Her And Give Her Your Heart

Olivia finished her third week as strongly as she could but, she was so excited to spend the weekend with David. At five o' clock she put all her papers away and rushed out of the school. In fact, she didn't even stop by the precinct on her way home. As she walked up the stairs to her apartment, she thought about how she would spend her weekend. When she reached her door, she found it unlocked. She shrugged assuming David had beat her home. She tried to ignore the pile of paper work she still owed Cragen for the Pena case that sat precariously on the edge of her coffee table.

"Hello, David. Are you home?" She called. When no one answered she started to worry. She slipped off her shoes quietly and tiptoed into her bedroom. An eerie silence over took the room. Olivia automatically grabbed her go to weapon; the lamp on her nightstand. "David?" She called again. This time she heard a quiet response. Not words but, a soft noise coming from the bathroom.

Olivia ran towards the slightly ajar door and pushed it open with her foot. She looked around at eye level and nearly missed the large pool of blood on the tile. She slid into the doorway and just barely caught herself on the wall.

"David?" She repeated once more. This time she was able to recognize the sound. Someone was hitting the side of the bath tub. Olivia ripped the shower curtain down and there lay a bloody shell of the man she loved. His arms were bound behind him and his mouth gagged. He had been stripped completely naked. Olivia shot straight into action she grabbed her cell from her pocket.

"This is Detective Olivia Benson, badge number 44015. I need a bus sent to203 W. 89th Street New York, NY 10024 apartment 4E." Olivia called out instinctively. She hung up the phone and removed the gag from David's mouth. "What happened?" She whispered.

"I… I can't remember." He said gasping for air.

"Okay. Don't worry, I will figure this out. I promise." Olivia grabbed some clothes and dressed him carefully. He winced with every move. She attempted to wipe some of the blood off of his face. She held him until the paramedics arrived. They immediately asked Olivia to move. Her brain was not functioning properly. In fact, she didn't move or even respond until she heard an all too familiar voice.

"Liv, come on." She felt and two hands grab her shoulders. She stood up and walked to the corner of the bathroom. Staring wide eyed at the blood that soaked her bathroom. She followed the paramedics outside and attempted to jump into the bus when that same voice spoke again.

"This is not a Manhattan SVU case and you are in no position to be breaking any rules." It wasn't until then that Olivia's brain truly figured out who was talking to her.

"Don, I … I don't … I have to do this." She said as she made eye contact with her captain for the first time all evening.

"Liv, please. We can still fix this. If you just make the right decision here." Cragen begged.

"I am doing the right thing. For once in my life I am not doing the right thing for you or for the squad or for the victim or for Elliot. I am doing the right thing for me and my life." Olivia stated climbing into the back of the bus. "I am going to ride with him and take his statement when he wakes up."

Olivia sat quietly in the waiting room of Bellevue Medical Center. Her entire body covered in blood, she shivered in the cold room. During the commotion in her apartment, Liv put her teaching heels on. They now occupied the chair next her. She stared at the ground contemplating her life. Every mistake she ever made led her to this point. Tears poured from her brown eyes and mixed with her smeared eyeliner and David's blood.

"Detective Benson?" A woman's voice called. Olivia didn't move at first. Her brain didn't exactly register. "Are you Detective Benson?" The woman now stood over her.

"Huh? Oh yeah. That's me." Olivia looked up and saw a uni barely old enough to have finished the academy.

"I have to…um… can you… uh" The woman began.

"You need to identify yourself as law enforcement."

"Right, um, Officer Alyson Swift." She responded holding up her badge.

"How old are you, Officer Swift?" Olivia asked wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"22."

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" Olivia asked. Alyson nodded and sat next to her. "Think long and hard about your decision to join the force. Be prepared to make stupid and likely fatal mistakes. Be prepared to be alone. Be prepared for people to leave you. Even the people you think will be with you forever, they leave too. Just be prepared." Olivia looked carefully at the officer who stared at her. She saw the fear in her eyes. Olivia knew she wouldn't last.

"Um… I will. But, now I have to ask you to come down to the precinct." Olivia nodded.

"Am I being charged with something?"

"Yes."

"With what?"

"Obstruction and spoliation of evidence. Plus, you're a suspect in David's case. But, I was told to offer you a courtesy surrender. No cuffs."

"Well, then we can wait until I see David. I will come down in the morning." Olivia stated.

"I don't think you are thinking straight right now. I mean, you are distraught. Trust me you will regret this later." Alyson said carefully.

"No offense but, you don't know anything about me or my life. You have no idea what goes through my head. So why don't you mind your business and leave me alone." Olivia lashed out suddenly.

"Right." Alyson stood up. "Please stand up."

"What?"

"I need you to stand up." Alyson said bit louder. Olivia sighed but, did not move. Alyson grabbed Olivia's arm and pulled to her feet.

"You have any excessive force complaints in your jacket?"

"No."

"Would you like to keep it that way?" Olivia asked. She was now on her feet. Alyson placed Olivia in cuffs and began to escort her out of the hospital.

"Olivia Benson, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice and spoliation of evidence. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" By the time Alyson finished Mirandizing her they were at her car.

"I know my rights." Olivia said as she ducked into the car.

Chapter 8: We don't belong to no one, That's a shame

Olivia arrived with Officer Swift and her partner at the Brooklyn SVU squad room. They walked her into the squad room and placed her in lock up. Olivia expected to be interrogated or something. However, they just left her in the cage. She never noticed how cold it was in the precinct until that moment. She shivered in her short sleeved silk teaching outfit. She sat in the cage for over an hour before anyone noticed her.

"Liv, what are you doing in there?" Munch said as he signaled for the officers to open the cage. He walked toward her. "Whose blood is this? Are you hurt?"

"No, I am fine. It's a long story. What are you doing here?" Olivia said.

"I had some paperwork to drop off. Does Cragen know you're here?" He asked sitting down next to her.

"I don't know." She said.

"Liv, what the hell happened?" He asked.

"I have no idea. I got home from work and walked into my apartment and he was just lying there, covered in blood. He was barely breathing. I called a bus and then Cragen was there. Telling me not to help anymore. And I just… I couldn't listen." She snapped to a dazed place in her brain as she spoke. She could picture the blood that filled her bathroom. "You know you don't expect a person to have so much blood."

"Liv, it is going to be okay. I promise you." Munch placed his hand on her shoulder. "It's after midnight so you know Cragen has gone home for the night. I can call him if you want or better yet you want me to bust you out?"

"Thanks. I will be fine. You should get home and get some sleep. I will be fine here."

"Olivia, I can't leave you here."

"Go. I will see you tomorrow." Munch nodded as he grabbed his hat and coat and walked out the door.

"Call me if you need anything." She smiled and nodded.

As she looked around at her surroundings she wondered how her life ended up like this. She was sitting in jail; she had no friends, no family and nothing to show for her life. She thought about how much better off the world would be without her. She drifted off to sleep thinking of a world where Olivia Benson didn't exist.

Olivia was awoken the next morning by the sounds of the precinct. She had slept at the 16th a million times but, here everything seemed louder. She attempted to stretch the stiffness out her neck. She opened her eyes carefully praying maybe the night before was a dream. Unfortunately, she was still stuck in the nightmare that is her life.

"Detective Benson, It seems we meet again."

"Lieutenant Tucker, once again I say, isn't it a little early in the morning for internal affairs?"

"You know why I am here. And you know why we had to arrest you last night." Ed asked. Olivia nodded. Tucker led her out of the cage and into the box. "The officer last night read you Miranda, right?" Olivia nodded.

"Might I say the academy is crankin out some winners these days." Olivia said sarcastically.

"You were one of those winners yourself, was it, twenty plus years ago now." He said flipping through her file.

"Are you charging me with something or are you just trying to keep me here?" Olivia finally asked.

"Neither. Captain Cragen wants to keep you here so he had Officer Swift pick you up but, me, I am here about your relationship with David Haden."

"What about it?"

"You don't want a lawyer present?"

"No. I have nothing to hide." Olivia ignored the nagging feeling that something didn't seem right.


	7. Chapter 7

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SO AGAIN IT HAS BEEN A WHILE BUT, I PROMISE FROM NOW ON I WILL UPDATE BY FRIDAY OF EVERY WEEK ON ALL MY STORIES. THAT WAY YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT I HOPE YOU ALL ARE ENJOYING WHERE THIS IS GOING. IN THIS CHUNK WE FIND LIV IN A PRETTY TOUGH SPOT. ENJOY AND AS ALWAYS CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS AND LOVE ARE WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS.

"Very well. So when did you and ADA Haden start dating?" Tucker sat in the chair across from Olivia. She paused before answering. She remembered the day they met and how she knew right away there was something between them. "Detective Benson, answer the question."

"Um, a couple of months ago." She snapped back to reality quickly.

"And why didn't you two disclose your relationship?" He asked without pause.

"We weren't sure it was going anywhere. We decided to take it slow and keep it under wraps." Olivia stated attempting to control her sass.

"Right. How precious." Tucker spoke his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Is there a point to this line of questioning or are you just going to continue wasting my time?" Olivia responded unable to keep her attitude in check.

"Detective Benson, you were already on thin ice with the whole Pena case and now you are sinking fast, so how about you answer my questions and start to cooperate. I don't want to take your shield but, I will."

"If I am not being charged with anything, I will be leaving." Olivia stood up and headed for the door.

"This isn't over." Tucker said as she was crossing the threshold.

"I was counting on that." She said not looking back.

Chapter 9: All Love Ever Does Is Break and Burn and End.

Olivia arrived at the hospital and immediately ran up to the desk. She flashed her shield quickly.

"I am looking for David Haden." She said wearing the same blood soaked outfit from the day before.

"I am sorry. I was told not to give you that information." The nurse stated.

"Excuse me? I will arrest you for obstruction of justice if you don't give me the info I requested." Olivia flashed her badge again.

"Really? You will do what now, Detective Benson?" Cragen came slowly around the corner.

"What…Um… I just … I mean… You had me arrested. I was in lock up all night. What the hell was that about?" Olivia turned around.

"You know I did what I had to do. If I had let you go you would have gone to the crime scene and honestly, you are the prime suspect. You know damn well you can't be involved in this case." Cragen sat her down in the waiting area. She was in the same chair as the night before.

"So, I am guessing David isn't awake considering I am the prime suspect." She said switching chairs.

"Liv, it doesn't look good for him. He sustained some pretty traumatic brain injuries. The doctors say the next 48 hours are critical but, not to get our hopes up." Cragen put his hand on Olivia's shoulder. She paused and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"He is going to die and you were keeping me from seeing him?" Olivia said fighting back tears.

"I was doing what was best for your career."

"You don't get to make that decision. I am 46 years old and I have taken care of myself my entire life. I don't need you making my choices for me."

"Olivia, take a look around. You need someone to help you clean up this mess. Nobody can do it alone forever." Cragen put his hand on her shoulder.

"I need to see him. Unless you can do that, I am fine on my own." Olivia shrugged his hand off. Cragen looked at her but, didn't speak. "That's what I thought." She walked out to the street. The mid-morning sunlight temporarily blinded her eyes. She sat down on the steps of the hospital. Cragen walked past her as she sat with her head in her hands.

"Liv, I am really sorry." He said hailing a cab. Olivia didn't acknowledge him at all. She couldn't understand why he, of all people would keep her from David. As Cragen ducked into a cab, Olivia jumped up.

"Captain, wait." She ran towards the car.

"What is it?" He climbed out and motioned for the cab to move on.

"I have known you for fourteen years and you know everything about my personal life. But, I don't know a whole lot about yours." Olivia began.

"I am your commanding officer you don't get to know things about me."

"Yeah, I get that but, I know what I heard on the wire. I promised I would never tell anyone about that and I never will but, you have to understand. When your wife died you didn't have a chance to say goodbye. You said see ya later because in your brain you would. I said the same thing to David and I don't want that to be the last thing I say to him. I don't want him to die alone. Please, if you don't help me I will go to every single room on every single floor in this hospital." Olivia said pointing at the building behind her.

"No, you won't."

"Do you really want to test me?"

Cragen smiled, partially out of confusion but, mostly out of pure fear. He knew he was dealing with crazy Liv and he hated dealing with crazy Liv.

Chapter 10: And I'll Kneel Down Wait For Now

After par taking in quite a few shenanigans, Olivia sat at David's bedside. She grasped his hand tightly hoping that maybe she could transfer her health to him. She has always been a very intellectual person but, when someone you love is on the verge of death that all goes to hell. Your brain quickly changes and all that matters is faith. Faith in something bigger than science and law and intellect.

Olivia looked up and though she had never prayed before, she knew she had to try something. She hated how helpless she felt.

"God, wow okay this is new territory for me. Elliot always did the praying. Anyway, hey it's me Olivia. I don't really know what to say and I hate to just come to you when I need something but, let's be honest I am sure I am not the only one. Okay, focus, David. David deserves a chance. I need you to give him a chance to live his life. I need him and I love him. So please keep him alive, I know I have done nothing to deserve your mercy but, he has. So please. Um… the end." She chuckled at how uncomfortable she was with the entire idea of religion.

Olivia looked at David's seemingly lifeless body. She leaned in close to him and gave him a kiss. She brushed her hand against his cheek, making sure to avoid the bruised areas.

"David, if you can hear me, you need to wake up now. I can't handle losing you, I need you too much. So if you can hear me, please wake up." As Olivia pleaded with God and David and anyone else who would listen, she heard a knock at the door. She looked up slowly.

"Detective Benson."

"Lieutenant Tucker. Can't this wait?" Olivia said wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"I am sorry but, no it can't. Please stand up." He said walking towards her. Olivia reluctantly stood but, kept her strong grip on David's hand. "Olivia Benson, you are under arrest."

"Those charges where vacated by Jack McCoy himself." Olivia said ripping her arm from Tucker's grasp.

"You are under arrest for the attempted murder of Executive District Attorney David Haden. You have the right to remain silent…" as Tucker read her rights, Olivia blocked it out. She had been accused of some pretty awful things in her day but, this really got to her.


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ALRIGHT SO THIS CHUNK IS A BIT OF INFORMATIONAL STUFF. IT ISN'T AS EXCITING AS I WAS HOPING BUT, NEXT WEEKS CHUNK SHIT IS GOING TO GET REAL. THERE ARE SOME SIXTH SENSE LEVEL TWISTS COMING SO GET EXCITED! KEEP COMMENTING AND SHOWING THE LOVE!

Chapter 11: I Will Stand Up Tall At The Gates Of Hell

Olivia sat in a cell at Riker's after being remanded. Her case was not looking good. Her celly was a teenage girl who appeared pretty violent. She murdered her abusive parents and was in for 25-35 up for parole in 15. Olivia decided to keep to herself, if she could. She was in no place to be letting her SVU training take over. As she picked at the skin around her finger nails, one of the C.O.'s stopped in front of her cell.

"Olivia Benson, you have a visitor. Come with me." He said. Olivia knew better than to follow a C.O. anywhere alone. She stood up and walked towards the bars.

"I am not going anywhere with you." She said leaning against the door.

"Fine. I will just tell your Captain to go home then." He started to walk away.

"Wait. Fine I will go but, my celly's coming with me." She signaled to the girl on the top bunk.

"What makes you think I am doing you any favors?" The girl said.

"We haven't formally met. I am Detective Olivia Benson. I think you know what kind of pull I have within the court system. You want me on your side. Trust me." She walked towards the girl and leaned her hand against the bed.

"Right, okay. I'm Ana." She jumped down from the bed.

"Nice to meet you. Okay, let's go."

They arrived in an interrogation room in the next cell block over. Cragen sat in a chair facing away from the door.

"Captain." Olivia said as she signaled for the guard to remove her handcuffs. The C.O. looked at Cragen for verification. He nodded and the cuffs were removed. Ana sat down in a chair in the corner. "How is the case going? Any new suspects?"

"Liv, this isn't looking good for you. You have no alibi and you have motive. But, something didn't add up so I have CSU comb your apartment again and they found a hair." Cragen opened a folder and revealed a picture. "Doc Warner ran a familial match and found her."

"Anya." Olivia whispered.

"You know her?" Cragen asked.

"Sure, she is…was one of my students."

"Well, the attacker is related to her. We found DNA and your doorman verified you weren't in the building until after the attack occurred. We should have you out of here by close of business today." Cragen said.

"Great. But, why would Anya… this doesn't make sense."

"Liv, you know undercover work often leads to violence."

"Yeah but, she seemed so I don't know."

"What's in this for me?" Ana piped in.

"Captain, this is my celly, Ana."

"Nice to meet you. What are you in for?"

"Don't worry about. I will speak at your parole hearing and put in a good word." Olivia said interrupting Cragen. Ana accepted the offer and sat back down.

"Benson, visiting hours are over for you." The guard walked in.

"I will see you later." Cragen said. "I am going to get you out of here."

Chapter 12: All Love Ever Does Is Break and Burn and End

Olivia left the gates of Riker's six hours later. She spent the day in court getting the charges dropped. As the sun went down, she hailed a taxi. She rode straight to the hospital and ran up to David's room. She stood in the doorway and stared at the empty bed. A nurse walked in to change the sheets.

"Excuse me; do you know what happened to David Haden?" Olivia asked the nurse.

"The coma patient? I am not sure. I can find out for you but, the only reason people leave this ward is if they wake up or they don't." She said as she left the room.

Olivia picked up her phone and called Cragen.

"Captain, I am at the hospital and David is gone."

"Liv, why don't you come down to the precinct so we can talk."

"Is he dead?"

"Liv, come to the house."

"Tell me the truth now. Is he dead?" There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"He passed away this morning around eleven."

"Oh my God." Olivia fell to the ground. " Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I didn't think you could handle it."

"You are not my father! You don't get to make decisions for me. I loved him. I finally found love at 48 years old and now what I am just supposed to get over it."

"Liv, come on."

"No, I have some time coming up."

"You are still on the East Brooklyn case."

"No. I am not."

"If you want to keep your job and your pension you will be at that school tomorrow morning."

"We will see about that." Olivia said hanging up the phone.


	9. Chapter 9

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ALRIGHT SO THIS IS WHEN STUFF GETS REAL. I REALLY LIKE THE TWIST HERE BUT, I HAVE AN ALTERNATE ENDING IN CASE I GET TO MUCH HATE MAIL FROM THIS ONE. BTW, HATING IS NOT COOL ESPECIALLY UNDER A GUEST USERNAME THEN I CAN'T EVEN DEFEND MYSELF THAT IS JUST COWARDLY. I LOVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM AND LOVE SO KEEP THOSE COMING BUT, I WOULD PREFER NO HATE. HOWEVER, I REALIZE HATERS GONNA HATE SO IF YOU LIKE MY STORIES READ THEM COMMENT AND HAVE FUN IF NOT WELL THEN DON'T READ THEM. OKAY ENJOY !

Chapter 13: It's Getting Dark Darling, Too Dark To See

For thirteen years, Olivia had followed Don Cragen's every word, relatively speaking. As she sat at a bar across from the hospital nursing a glass of whiskey, she couldn't bring herself to just go to work and act like nothing happened. The special victims unit had always been her life. She was married to the job because it gave her something to believe in. Every time she put a pedophile in prison or sent a murderer to death row, she felt like she was making the world a better place. But, now after over fourteen years, she found David. She found someone who made her feel like she could believe in something. And now he was gone and she didn't really want to believe in anything anymore.

"Can I get you another drink?" Olivia looked up from her glass just long enough to nod.

"Wait, Anya?"

"Ms. Martin? What are you doing here? Why weren't you at school today?"

"I was dealing with some stuff. Anya, you are not old enough to tend bar." Olivia immediately jumped into detective mode.

"What are you gonna call the cops? I am not drinking it. I just need the money." She answered as she wiped down the bar.

"Anya, you need to find a different job. Seriously, if you get caught it will go on your record."

"Ms. Martin, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up?" Olivia said sucking down the last of her drink.

"Well, you are sitting here alone at midnight on a Monday night."

"Yeah, where is the question?"

"Well, why? I mean you have a boyfriend and a job and you are happy, I don't know it seems odd." Olivia paused and tucked a piece of hair behind her ears.

"Anya, the older you get the more you will realize that happiness is a just a fantasy they teach you as a kid. It doesn't really exist."

"Did something happen between you and Mr. Haden?" Anya asked refilling Olivia's cup. Olivia put a twenty on the bar; she hadn't been home to change in days. She still wore her pencil skirt and heels but, covered it all up with an oversized NYPD sweatshirt.

"Yeah. Yeah it did." Olivia began to walk out the door.

"Ms. Martin."

"Yeah, Anya?" Olivia paused in the door way.

"Break ups are hard but, it gets easier." Olivia faked a smile and nodded as she step out onto the chilly New York street. She hadn't had a whole lot to drink but, she felt unsteady. She assumed from lack of sleep. She stumbled down the street and tripped into a corridor. The world spun around her as she slid down the wall behind her. Her head began to throb and she heard a quite shuffling in front of her. She squinted unable to make out the shadowy figures before her.

"Just grab her." One male voice said.

"I am trying. This was a bad idea." A female responded. Olivia felt a pair of hands grab her shoulders. She squirmed in attempt to escape but, she couldn't feel her limbs.

"Just shut up, bitch. We need this money!" The man shouted as he dropped Olivia on the ground and smacked the girl. It started to rain as Olivia's eyes closed and she lost consciousness.

Chapter 14: Some Say Love It Is A Hunger, An Endless Aching Need

Her eyes blinded by a combination of bright lights and lack of focus as Olivia opened them. She attempted to untie the rope around her arms. She shook her head trying to fix her sight to no avail. All she could do was listen.

"I am done with you two. I will not give you any money. You ruined my plan and made this a huge mess." A voice said from the shadows.

"But, we got her and he is dead. What more did you want?" The man from the night before shouted.

"You have no idea what you have done. She didn't suspect anything. She thought he died in the hospital. Do you understand what I have to do now?"

"Convince her that he is dead and help her move on?" The scared girl replied. Olivia's eyes widened when she realized David was still alive.

"No, not even close. Have you ever tried to convince a detective that a lie was the truth? Even the dumbest of detectives would figure this out and she is my best detective." At that moment Olivia gasped. "Liv, you're awake." Don Cragen walked towards her and ripped the tape from her mouth.

"What the hell did you do?" She asked.

"I can explain."

"Oh please do." Olivia said sticking her arms out signaling for her release. Cragen ignored her.

"When Elliot was around you were great. You were always focused on your job and you closed some of the toughest cases New York had ever seen. I knew when he left it was going to be tough for you. I was prepared for the brooding and self-pity but, then I saw you and Haden outside of the movie theater. I noticed you changing. You were happy and I was happy for you. Then, your work started to suffer. You were missing 1st grade detective clues. I knew I had to do something."

"So you beat the shit out of my boyfriend blamed it on me, sent me to prison and pretended to kill the love of my life? Yeah good plan champ." Olivia sassed.

"All these years I have let you get away with more shit than most criminals get away with. I put my pension on the line for you on more than one occasion. You were not going to throw away your career, the career I built for you over a boy." Cragen crouched down in front of her.

"I can take care of myself. I always have. You had no business doing any of this. If I want to quit police work forever, that is my choice. You have no say in that. I have gone 46 years without a father and I think I turned out pretty good." Olivia turned her head away from his gaze. Don grabbed her face turning her head towards him.

"Olivia, there is something you should know. Your mother and I… I mean… we were … I knew your mother better than I let on." He said standing up and walking towards a metal wall in front of her. By this time, Olivia's eyes had adjusted and she figured they were in some sort of storage unit. Her head was still pounding but, she did her best to focus.

"What does that even mean?"

"Liv."

"Don't call me that. You do not get to call me that." Olivia cut him off.

"I am your father. It was the 60's and I was having an affair with your mother. She got pregnant. I couldn't let Marge find out."

"No, Joe Hollister is my father. Simon Marsden is my brother. I ran my DNA." Olivia argued in disbelief.

"I know. I figured you would eventually. That is why I flagged your DNA and hired Simon Marsden to pretend to be your long lost brother. I gave him all those pictures of you. I kept them. Your mother and I both drank because I left her. I was able to quit, she wasn't." Olivia tried to block out everything she had just heard but, it was too late.

"So, all this time, I thought my father was a rapist, he was just a cheating, pathological liar perfect. This is… what the hell is wrong with you? Why the fuck would think any of this was okay? Are you really so fucked up that this registers as okay behavior? This is the kind of shit I put people away for life over. You realize that?" Olivia yelled. "You used everything I have ever said or done against me. You knew I would sympathize with a poor single mother so you hired Anya. You knew I would talk to Tucker without a lawyer so you called him. You knew I would try and help that train wreck of a cop, Swift. All these things, I trusted you enough to let you in on some of my deepest secrets and you… you turned on me. I trusted you and this is how you repay me. You know I never had a father but, this is not how I heard they are supposed to treat their daughters." Olivia managed to untie the ropes behind her and free her wrists.

Don walked towards her and bent down but, before he had time to get comfortable, Olivia swung her elbow at his face. He flew back a few feet and hit his head on the wall. He did not move. Olivia bent down and untied her ankles. She ran towards the door as fast as she could with her limbs still weak from the drug Anya had slipped her. She threw the door open and Anya and her boyfriend stood there blocking her escape.


	10. Chapter 10

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OKAY I KNOW I SUCK AT REMEMBERING TO UPDATE BUT, HOPEFULLY YOU WILL STILL READ ANYWAY. I KNOW THIS IS LIVID STORY AND I PLAN ON KEEPING IT THAT BUT, I HAVE DECIDED TO KIND OF CLEAR UP THE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN ELLIOT AND LIV. THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR EACH OTHER WHEN THEIR NEEDED SO I ADDED SO STRICTLY FRIENDSHIP E/O STUFF. SO ENJOY! AS ALWAYS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM AND LOVE ARE VERY MUCH ENJOYED. THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

Chapter 15: Forget Yesterday, We'll Make the Great Escape

Anya and her boyfriend gladly accepted her offer.

"Wait, when do we get our money?" Anya asked.

"I will wire it to you. I promise. Have I ever once steered you wrong?" Olivia responded. Anya shook her head and motioned for Olivia to run. "Where is David?" She asked.

"I don't know. Cragen hid him while we tied you up. He has to be in here somewhere." Anya admitted.

Olivia nodded and ran towards the door. As she pushed it open, the daylight reflecting off the snow blinded her. She blinked quickly to regain her sight. She scanned the area and realized she had no idea where she was. The trees were overgrown and the road was unplowed. She ran towards a SVU parked a few feet away. She grabbed a brick and slammed it against the window. After a few hits it shattered. She shimmied into the driver's seat. Olivia took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. She had never hotwired a car before but, she had watched Elliot do it a couple of times early in their partnership. She pulled at the plastic below the steering wheel and exposed an array of colorful wires.

Liv started touching and pulling all the wires loose.

"How the hell does this work?" She said to herself. She hit the steering wheel in frustration. She leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. "Just focus, Liv. Come on." She said. She suddenly had a picture perfect memory of the Elliot taking a car. She quickly touched the proper wires and the engine roared to a start. "Oh God thank you." Just as she threw the car into reverse Cragen came running out of the building, shooting at the car. Olivia just kept driving. She had no idea where she was or where she was going but, anywhere was better than where she had been. After driving for hours, sunset had begun and Olivia finally found a familiar road. She was prepared to return to the station house when she realized, Cragen probably had them all wrapped around his finger. Munch, Finn even Amaro and Rollins, they were all probably in on it. Olivia could only think of one person she could trust. She flipped a bitch and started driving the half hour to Queens.

Chapter 16: I'm Still Waiting Here, Waiting For You To Come Home

Olivia knocked quietly on the door at the Stabler house. She knew Eli would be asleep and she didn't want to wake him. The house seemed oddly dark. Elliot's car was parked in the drive way so Olivia knew he was there. She threw a few pebbles at his bedroom window. At that moment, she remembered they hid a spare key on the porch because Dick always lost his key. She ran up the steps and moved the leg of the bench that rested next to the door. She grabbed the key and unlocked the door in one quick movement. She tiptoed into the quiet house and checked around the corners. She prayed Elliot still kept his gun in the same place. She crept towards the hall closet and reached up on the top shelf. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the metal of his lock box. She pulled it down and placed it on the ground. Olivia had always known Elliot's passwords for everything. She dialed in Kathy's birthday and pulled at the lock. It didn't open.

"Shit" She whispered. After trying each of the kids' birthdays and Elliot and Kathy's anniversary, Olivia took a chance and twirled out her badge number. The lock popped open. She chuckled as she pulled the gun out of the box. She checked to see it was loaded and turned off the safety. She checked the main floor of the house and got very nervous when Eli wasn't in his bed. She made her way up the stairs. The boards creaked under foot as she checked each of the rooms. Each bed empty, some not slept in others appeared to be disturbed. Olivia came upon the final room, Elliot and Kathy's. The door was open just a crack so she kicked it the rest of the way. Looking around at eye level it seemed empty but, then she looked down. She saw a small foot peeking out from under the bed. She lifted the bed sheet.

"Hey, sweetie. Come on out you're safe. Come on." Olivia called.

"Olivia!" Eli called as he crawled into her arms.

"Hey there. Where is your Daddy?" She said as she hugged him and stroked his hair.

"He left."

"Really? Who is hanging out with you?" She asked. Eli pointed a door about six feet from where they sat. She grabbed him and stood up, hiding her gun behind her back. She opened the door to the master bathroom. The scene looked almost exactly the same as David's attack aside from the fact that the victim was fully clothed.

"Eli, sweetie, you stand right here face that wall and sing me your favorite song. Don't turn around until I say so okay? Can you do that?" Olivia said.

"Sure, no problem. In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight." He began as he danced.

"Good job, Honey. I like that song too." Olivia untied the girl and flipped over the body not sure which of the Stabler girls she would find. Kathleen gasped for air when she turned her over and began kicking and swinging her arms around. "It's okay, you're okay." Olivia removed the gag from her mouth.

"It isn't mine. The blood isn't mine."

"Who's is it, Sweetie? Who did this to you?"

"Can I turn around now?" Eli asked.

"No, Hun. Can you sing me another song?"

"I guess. Any requests?"

"No, you can pick, Buddy."

"Okay, WWWWWAAAARRRRRRR ! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?" Eli started singing again. Olivia couldn't help but, smile at his adorable innocence.

"Kathleen, look at me, who's blood is this? What happened?"

"Captain Cragen's." She cried and leaned on Olivia's shoulder. Olivia stood Kathleen up carefully. She wiped the blood from Kathleen's pale face. She picked Eli up after he finished his final verse of War. She guided Kathleen down the stairs to the kitchen. She laid Eli down on the window seat.

"Get some sleep, okay?" She whispered as she placed a blanket over him.

"I will but, I am thirsty."

"Oh yeah? Is that so?" Olivia remembered Elliot telling her how Eli would try to get out of going to bed. His favorite tactic was his thirst. "How about you try and sleep and if you can't sleep after half an hour you can drink as much juice as you want. I will turn on the timer and if you are still awake when it goes off that's what we will do." Olivia walked over to the microwave and pretended to turn on the timer.

"You got a deal." He said as he shifted and closed his eyes.

"You're really good with him." Kathleen said as she held a pack of frozen peas on her face.

"Thanks." She said setting a cup of tea in front of Kathleen and joining her at the kitchen table. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"A man came here this afternoon at like two or three. He was a little taller than my dad and had dark brown hair. He talked to my Dad for a few minutes and then left. Dad looked really worried. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had to find you. He begged me to watch Eli for a bit. So I agreed. He left for maybe an hour and came back even more riled than he was before he left. I asked if he found you. He said no and then told me to sit down. He explained to me that Captain Cragen had some really bad stuff to you and the other detectives. He also said he might be next. I have never seen my Dad look so scared. He said that Captain Cragen had a lot of power and knew a lot of people and that he didn't think we were safe. He told me to pack a bag for Eli and I and he would take us to Aunt Gina's house. That's were Mom, Liz, Maureen and Dickie are. So I went up to my room and packed my stuff. I went into my parent's room to get Eli's toothbrush. I turned on the light and felt something hard smack my face. I screamed as loud as I could. He tied my arms together and wrapped my mouth so I could barely breathe. Dad came running in soon after and beat the shit out of Captain Cragen. Demanding to know what he did to you. He just kept hitting him and hitting him until Cragen stopped fighting back. Dad shook him and begged him to wake up. But, he didn't move. Dad dragged him down out of the bathroom and he left. I thought my Dad was done with this stuff when he retired. I don't know how long he has been gone but, I am worried. What happened between you and Captain Cragen?" Kathleen told the story tears streaming down her cheeks.

"That's very helpful, Kathleen. Thank you very much. Captain Cragen and I are dealing with some stuff right now. It is a very long story and you need to rest. Go ahead. I am going to wait for your Dad to get home." Olivia told Kathleen as she picked up Eli to move him to the living room where Kathleen could lie down too.

She still had Elliot's gun in gripped tightly between her fingers. Kathleen fell asleep almost instantly. Olivia sat alone in the darkness. She dialed Elliot's number for what had to be the twelfth time that night.

"Hello?"

"El?"

"Liv? Thank God you are alright."

"I am fine. I am with Kathleen and Eli."

"Are they okay?"

"Eli is great. Kathleen is a bit peeved that you left her bound and gagged in the bathtub and I can't say I blame her but, she is okay too. Where are you?"

"I am on my way back to the house. Liv, he is dead."

"Cragen?"

"Yeah. I, um, I killed him. He told me if I didn't come back to the precinct and take my job back he would kill you. I don't know what happened I just got so angry. Liv, What did I do?"

"Elliot, you did what you had to do. You saved my life."

"Well, I have been saving your ass for thirteen years, what's one more day?"

"Hey, easy Stabler, I can recall quite a few occasions when I was doing the ass saving."

"Ha, you wish, Benson."

"By the way, who is this David Haden?"

"My boyfriend, why, you jealous?"

"Do I need to be? No but, he just shows up at my door today begging me to help you."

"Ha ha, I don't know. It is pretty serious. Where is he now?"

"He is sitting next to me."

"Thank God, He is alive."

"You're Welcome."

"Oh you're God now?"

"Well, if the shoe fits?"

They both laughed.

"Can I talk to him?"

"He is sleeping."

"Oh Okay Never mind then."

There was a brief pause. As they decided where to take the conversation next.

"Hey, El?"

"Yeah, Liv?"

"Why didn't you call me?"

"It hurt too much. I couldn't be the one to tell you. Liv, you were my best friend. I told you everything and to have to live without that, I just couldn't be the one to end it."

There was a long pause.

"I will see you in a bit."

"Yeah."

"Kay, bye."


	11. Chapter 11

AUTHOR'S NOTE: OKAY HERE IS THE NEXT PART. I MUST ADMIT I FELL BEHIND IN SCHOOL SO I LOST TRACK OF MY FAN FICTION DUTIES BUT, WINTER BREAK STARTS NEXT WEEK SO MY FAN FICTION WRITING WILL PICK UP AND GET BACK TO NORMAL. BUT HERE IS THE NEXT CHUNK THERE WILL BE ONE MORE PART AFTER THIS BEFORE IT ENDS. BUT I HAVE ALREADY BEGUN PLANNING A SEQUEL SO DON'T GET TOO HEART BROKEN. AS USUAL CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS AND LOVE ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

Chapter 17: The Strength of Our Hearts is Something We Choose

Olivia sat quietly on the couch watching the muted television. Eli sat in her lap sleeping soundly.

"Hey Olivia, can I ask you something?" Kathleen whispered.

"Anything, kiddo." Olivia replied.

"Did my Dad leave the force because of you?"

"Did he say that?" Olivia shifted carefully.

"No, not exactly. But, I just hear my parents arguing and since I was little every argument was about you. I just figured you two finally… you know… took the leap."

"Kathleen, I can promise you that did not and would not happen. I don't know the exact reason your father left, honestly this the first time we have spoken since he left. I think he was a little shaken up by the shooting at the precinct."

"I don't think so."

"You don't?"

"Liv, he started to go back."

"What do you mean?"

"He started anger management; he had weekly meetings with IAB. He was getting ready to come back."

"What stopped him?"

"You."

Olivia paused her mind was racing. It was a feeling she wasn't used to. She had spent her entire life being so consumed with loving Elliot. One might say she was obsessed. But, she was finally happy. She had David. No longer did she need to worry about whether he loved her back. No longer was she forced to wait for a chance.

"Well, I am in a relationship too. We are just friends." Olivia assured her.

"Right, so you're telling me if both of you were available at the same time you wouldn't jump him like a piece of meat?"

"What, I am not having this conversation with you."

"Oh come on, Olivia. I am 20 years old. I am a woman. I understand my father is an attractive man and I see how you have always looked at each other."

"Well, in that case. Yes. I think your father is attractive. I did at one point have very strong feelings for him but, no I would not jump him like a piece of meat."

"Okay." Kathleen said skeptically.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Olivia replied.

Kathleen finally fell asleep about twenty minutes later. Olivia couldn't help but think about what Kathleen had said. Was it really her fault he left? Olivia's heart skipped a beat every time she saw headlights hit the wall next to the television. She jumped a little when she heard the slamming of two car doors. She lifted Eli into her arms. He stirred as she placed him back down on the couch. She froze in attempt not to wake him. When she was sure he was still sleeping, she walked towards the front door. Carefully grabbing Elliot's gun from the coffee table and aiming at the door. She pulled the door open slightly and pointed the gun out first. She saw a car in the driveway but, it was too dark to see what kind. She carefully stepped out the door.

"El." She whispered into the night. "David." She tried again as she stepped down the stairs towards the car. Her gun still aimed. A shadow emerged.

"Liv?" A voice said from the darkness.

"David?" Olivia answered slowly lowering her weapon. David limped towards her and she jumped into his arms. He kissed her forehead.

"I am so happy to see you. I love you so much."

"I love you. I am so sorry about this." She responded as she kissed his lips as if she would never see him again.

"This is not your fault; you don't have to apologize for this." He said placing his hands on her face. Elliot watched from a far unsure how to feel. He swallowed his insane jealousy and approached them.

"Hey, you okay?" He said nonchalantly.

"I am good. Better now." She said without even looking at him.

"I am going to go check on the kids and call Kathy." Elliot said walking towards the porch.

"El, wait." She said running towards him. She stood in front of him silently for a minute. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "Yeah, you're always doing the ass saving. So don't go away anymore, okay?"

"I can't leave you alone for three seconds. Trust me I won't make that mistake again." He hugged her again. Leaving his hands around her waist.

"You're my best friend. I don't know who I would be without you."

"You too, Liv."

"I mean you and me we are cool right?"

"Yeah, of course we are."

"I talked to Kathleen."

"Yeah, I figured you would. So what?"

"She told me why you left."

"Look Liv, I made my choice."

"No. I made your choice and I want you to know , you didn't have to do that. I have kept it in my pants for 13 years. I don't think anything will be able to break me. Plus, I have David now." Olivia said motioning towards David. He walked towards her. She motioned for him to go get warm in the house.

"Liv, it wasn't you I was worried about."

"What do you mean?"

"There were too many almost moments. The shooting gave me a reason to just call it quits and move on with my life."

"Yeah, and how is that going?"

"Honestly, I don't have a life without you. You are more than the hot co-worker I have always wanted to screw. You really are the only person I want to talk to about my problems. You are the first person I think to call when something happens. You and I have inside jokes. You truly are my best friends. And I can see how happy David makes you and that makes me happy." Elliot said

"Well, I am guessing we are going to need a new captain. I bet you could get that job easily." Olivia said walking arm in arm with him towards the front door.

"Yeah, not so much when they figure out that I killed the old one." They walked in David sat quietly on the couch. Elliot grabbed Kathleen in his arms and walked her upstairs to her bed. David grabbed Eli. Olivia led him into Eli's room. Laying the sleeping child down, David looked up at her.

"I want this."

"A child."

"Yes, and a wife and a house with a yard and a minivan."

"You do?"

"Yes, and I want it all with you."

"I want all of that with you too."

"Let's get married."

"You are going to have to do better than that."

"Oh yeah? What does that mean?" He asked kissing her.

"You two mind leaving my son out of this. He is young and impressionable." Elliot stood in the doorway. They tiptoed out of Eli's room. David shut the door behind them. Liv turned around and opened it slightly. She remembered Elliot telling her a story about Eli not liking the door shut. Elliot smiled when he remembered that she knew that.

"So is there a proposal in the works?" Elliot asked as they entered the kitchen.

"I am not sure." Olivia turned towards Elliot. When she turned back she was surprised to see David on his knee. "Seriously?" She chuckled.

"Olivia, I know your life has not been easy, not by any means but, ever since the moment I met you my life has been perfect. I want to spend the rest of my life making you forget the bad and giving you happiness. I want to take on all your baggage and of course by proxy all of Elliot's baggage." Elliot chuckled and nodded his head. "So, If you will have me, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" David asked taking her hand. Olivia paused she looked at Elliot and then back at David.


	12. Chapter 12

UPDATE- SORRY THE ENTIRE DOCUMENT DID NOT DOWNLOAD. SO THAT ENDING WOULD HAVE MADE ME A TERRIBLE HUMAN. THANKS FOR BRING THAT FACT TO MY ATTENTION.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: HERE IS THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THIS STORY SO STRAP IN! I AM VERY PROUD OF IT AND I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE ENJOYED IT. I AM ALREADY PLANNING THE SEQUEL FOR YOU ALL BECAUSE I REALIZE IT KIND OF NEEDS ONE. BUT, I AM GOING TO WORK ON ANOTHER E/O STORY AND SOME OTHER FANDOMS BEFORE I DO THE SEQUEL UNLESS YOU GUYS COMMENT AND RATE IT REALLY NICELY. THANKS FOR READING.

Chapter 18: If I Were The Red and You Were the Blue I Could Just Fade Into You

Olivia paused and began to contemplate her future. She had spent her entire life waiting for this very moment and yet she was terrified. What if she wasn't cut out for being someone's wife? She loved David more than anyone she had ever known. But, she couldn't bring herself to respond.

"Liv? Okay I am going to stand up now. If you are going to turn me down, I want to be on the same level." David said struggling to his feet.

"Olivia, are you still with us?" Elliot said he could see the fear in her eyes.

"Um, yeah. I just… I need to think." Olivia left the kitchen and walked towards the front door.

"This was a mistake. I told you this was a mistake." David said plopping down onto the counter top.

"No, she is just overwhelmed. She will be fine." Elliot said uncrossing his arms and walking towards the fridge.

"Does she always react this way?"

"Oh yeah. She is excited. Overwhelmed but, excited. Just let her get some air. I will go talk to her." Elliot said handing a can of beer to David and chugging one down himself. He walked towards the porch pausing before opening the door. Elliot always knew what to say to Liv. But, for some reason, this time he was drawing a blank. He was sure telling David to propose was the perfect plan.

"El, I can hear you breathing." Olivia yelled through the door. He stepped outside.

"Hey."

"Hey." Olivia said rubbing her neck and pacing. Elliot sat down on the porch swing offering her a beer. "I am can't. I feel like a horrible person."

"Why?"

"I wanted to say yes. I had every intention of saying yes. But, then something stopped me. I couldn't respond."

"Liv, if you are not ready to marry him that is okay. It doesn't make you a bad person, fear is what makes us human. And trust me marriage is scary. In fact, there is nothing more frightening in the world, except of course being a parent." Elliot said frankly.

"Yeah, how about par taking in both at the same time?" Olivia sat down next to him. She wiped away a few tears as she spoke.

"Yeah. Wait, what does that mean?" Elliot said begin his usual dense self.

"Seriously?" Olivia asked sarcastically. "may or may not be pregnant."

"What? How long have you known?"

"Um, a couple of weeks. I was going to tell David the night Cragen attacked him." She said leaning her head on Elliot's shoulder.

"Liv, that's wonderful. I mean, it is what you have always dreamed of."

"Yeah, but who's to say David even wants to raise a child with me?"

"He said it."

"What?"

"He said it when we were on our way back here. He asked my permission to propose and he said that all he wants in life to marry you and raise a family with you. He said that. He even said it when you guys were talking in Eli's room."

"He asked for your permission?"

"Yeah, he did. And I should have said no, so I could keep you for myself. But, you did that for me." Elliot joked.

"Oh yeah?" She laughed. After a pause she kissed his cheek and stood up. "Thanks, El."

"For what?"

"For giving me the brother I never had." She smiled and walked inside the house. "David, before I say yes I need to tell you something and if you want to run, I completely understand."

"Liv, I know you're pregnant." He responded.

"What? I mean, how did you…. I mean." She said shocked.

"Your doctor called and I answered. She told me."

"I am so firing her." She said sitting down in his lap and giving him a kiss. "So we are really doing this?"

"Yeah, we are really doing this." He responded placing his hands on hers. "This is the happiest I have been in a long time."

"This is the happiest I have been…ever." Olivia responded wiping a tear from her cheek and flashing a bright smile.


End file.
